Perfection

Perfection.


What's the meaning of perfection?
See, I've seen life through its actualization
Never been one to accept acclamation
Or adoration let alone aspiration
Instead I've lived under authorization
Of this world left with no celebration
So tell me, what is perfection?
I was made to be under a classification
Of those with no communication
Left unable to defend themselves; a victim of confliction
I'll admit I never had real friends as a child
Considered real mild with that innocent smile
'Till I found the world and went wild
Turned Jekyll and Hyde
I always wanted to hide
That life I was living; a complete lie
'Cause daddy used to beat mommy in the dark
And never once was there a bark
Never a clue about this dark life hidden like an ace card
Then when daddy left the picture everything went back to normal
Until someone stole my innocence and sex became all informal
And from there friends became an illusion
The only thing left was drugs as my only solution
Then alcohol became an admiration
Boys and sex a form of accommodation
Tell me now, am I living a life of perfection?
I cried myself to sleep every night and thought of dad
How he beat mom and left me; it makes me so mad
Every other feeling gone and I ain't even sad
See, it infuriates me to know
You had all the side hoes
All in seperate homes
But that's just how your life goes
And I was left with no hope
As mommy used to beat me and my heart acquired holes
Every hit, my toes would curl
My head would begin to swirl
Until eventually I would hurl
And found my life pathetically disgusting
I remember howling
I will forever be hurting
Have I reached perfection?
Only feeling alive through intoxication
No longer part of civilization
I am now under declassification
My soul under deprivation
Far away from perfection
But a step closer to detoxification
Getting away from devastation
Healing my soul from this exploitation
Ridding my humiliation
Walking towards intellectualization
Living the life of liberation
And that is what I call a living perfection.


-A