YouTube Channel Trailer!

Soundtrack: "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga (Google Play • AmazonMP3 • iTunes)
URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKSQx5H1i3w

Construction Day

Construction Day

Construction day, operations are the same

My gloves fastened and my hammer in hand

I seek to build this world for others

It is

my purpose

my occupation

my life

Others live in the structure I create

They don’t realize what it takes

Construction day, demolition day for others
Trying to strip me of that which is mine
I’ve worked for you for dirt-cheap
All because I want a better life
I fall on the job, and this world I built for you
You take it and dispose of the means by which it was made


My lower limbs no longer work
Paralysis Rehabilitation I cannot afford
Strike me with my own hammer

But, this humiliation I cannot endure

I the creator, now the dependent

And you

You no longer create for me

You point fingers, shoot daggers with your eyes

Yet you can’t pin down who to blame

Office Day, the windows are washed

You take your lunch break and then you watch

Your faint reflection, the mist obscuring the view of the city

Preventing you from seeing all details present without a second view

Meanwhile, the medical bills on my wall I accrue

The numbers are clear

My funds are not

Your signature adorns the bottom of the billing statement as if you took pride

You operate in the building I helped issue, yet you help issue my demise

Construction Day, I will never see you again

I’ll never create

I’ll never comprehend

How detached I am from what I make

I never knew others would be so ungrateful when they enjoyed

The fruits of my labor

However, I’ll push

I’ll stumble

I’ll crawl

To make things normal

Vanquished?

I refuse defeat

Because accepting implies validity!

Paraplegic, yes

Failure, no

Construction Day is here once again

Now I’m doing what I’ve always done

I’m constructing my life

J.D

Dealing with Anxiety

Dealing with Anxiety.

My world used to be free. There was no bubble, there was no cycle.

I used to go outside more often. I was in love with school.

Then there was this one day where I felt extremely nervous.

Everything changed, my whole world changed.

I had my first anxiety attack. 

I was sitting down drinking my usual daily routine of tea when I

suddenly didn’t feel like myself. I had an out of my body feeling.

Well, whatever that was, if it was an "anxiety attack", an adrenalin

rush, or even a sign from "God", it changed me. Before a stage

performance I would feel nervous, which I never really had. It's

fine because at the end of the day, I love performing. Stepping

outside the house was a problem, but now I cannot go one day

without going outside. My grades at school dropped in the

eleventh grade, which is horrible because I was told that is what

colleges look at. I was very disappointed at myself. If I was on

my best academic behavior during my junior year, I would have

probably received a scholarship to a SUNY or a private institute

 with an excellent Musical Theatre program.

I feel as if my anxiety affected that chance completely. It was due

to my attendance issues, this anxiety of being afraid of leaving

my house. I began to go to therapy. I was even on Zoloft. There

were times when the medicine was not working, but eventually

it took time to get better. Twelfth grade felt like a new school

year to start fresh again. I am now a freshman in college and

I can finally say I know how to manage my anxiety. Maybe I was

destined to feel nervous. It is a sign to relax. Truth is I had always

 been stressed with musical and acting activities at school and

outside of school; Including an internship at a nearby theatre.

Maybe this is just a part of growing up.

I've been changed for the better. I have learned that with time

and patience you can change and achieve anything. This is life

and it seems you can't always get what you want and that's okay

because you always have to conform and cope with what you have.

-Anonymous

Perfection

Perfection.


What's the meaning of perfection?
See, I've seen life through its actualization
Never been one to accept acclamation
Or adoration let alone aspiration
Instead I've lived under authorization
Of this world left with no celebration
So tell me, what is perfection?
I was made to be under a classification
Of those with no communication
Left unable to defend themselves; a victim of confliction
I'll admit I never had real friends as a child
Considered real mild with that innocent smile
'Till I found the world and went wild
Turned Jekyll and Hyde
I always wanted to hide
That life I was living; a complete lie
'Cause daddy used to beat mommy in the dark
And never once was there a bark
Never a clue about this dark life hidden like an ace card
Then when daddy left the picture everything went back to normal
Until someone stole my innocence and sex became all informal
And from there friends became an illusion
The only thing left was drugs as my only solution
Then alcohol became an admiration
Boys and sex a form of accommodation
Tell me now, am I living a life of perfection?
I cried myself to sleep every night and thought of dad
How he beat mom and left me; it makes me so mad
Every other feeling gone and I ain't even sad
See, it infuriates me to know
You had all the side hoes
All in seperate homes
But that's just how your life goes
And I was left with no hope
As mommy used to beat me and my heart acquired holes
Every hit, my toes would curl
My head would begin to swirl
Until eventually I would hurl
And found my life pathetically disgusting
I remember howling
I will forever be hurting
Have I reached perfection?
Only feeling alive through intoxication
No longer part of civilization
I am now under declassification
My soul under deprivation
Far away from perfection
But a step closer to detoxification
Getting away from devastation
Healing my soul from this exploitation
Ridding my humiliation
Walking towards intellectualization
Living the life of liberation
And that is what I call a living perfection.


-A

My Hidden Identity

My Hidden Identity. 

I’m tired of living in a shell. Veiling my 

true identity with someone 
who is just there to please 
everyone else but myself. 
How do I break away from that 
without losing everyone that I love? 

In my parent's mind, and some 

of my friends, I shouldn’t have tattoos 
or piercings. I should wear dresses 
or skirts more often.  I shouldn’t play
sports. I should cook more often. 
I should wear my hair up. 
I should lose weight. 
I shouldn’t wear sneakers as often. 
I shouldn’t listen to rock or metal,  etc. 

It frustrates me because it’s like 

I’m being stripped of what 
makes me unique, of what 
makes me who I am. 
I’m tired of the ordinary. 
More importantly, 
I’m tired of pretending 
as if I'm ordinary. 
I feel like my whole life 
I’ve been trying to fill 
in the shoes of a perfectly 
traditional daughter who solely 
exists for everyone’s satisfaction 
except her own. I want my reflection 
to show who I am, and not who 
everyone else wants me to be. 

Is that too much to ask?

-­R.

Love

This one has no title

I've learned something these last few months. You can fall in love with the wrong person. You can believe that the person you’re absolutely in love with is the one for you, but then you find out they’re not. They’re not the person you thought they would be and they won’t fight for you when something big happens. They just allow it to happen and move on as if your relationship did not happen.

Then, you suffer through excruciating emotional distress thinking that you've lost everything you wanted and needed. You go through the worst days of your life thinking that nothing will be the same and that you've become worthless.

You sink into an indescribable depression, not sadness, but true depression. You begin to go to school not caring about how you look and you cry every night because you think you will never get “the love of your life back.” You put yourself through s*** because you think you deserve it.

But guess what? You don’t. In reality you gained the freedom to find the real person who will care and fight for you. A person who will not just move on the moment you do something incredibly stupid. The person who will fly miles away or drive a few minutes away to see you. They won’t deny you and that will be the right person for you. In reality, nothing was your fault. It may have seemed that way, but it wasn't. Sometimes relationships don’t work and no one is worth your suffering unless you are suffering together and are working through your problems.

So don’t cry and harm yourself over some boy or girl who you “lost”. They lost you and now you can find your Prince Charming or your beautiful princess. You've been given another chance at love, all you have to do I be yourself and wait for love to come to you. It will never be easy, nothing ever truly is, but if it’s worth fighting for within so many people then it’s worth waiting for as well.

- Ashley

Fitting In

Hey!!

Here is a video created by Gina. Within the video, Gina speaks about her life and how it was/is for her fitting in.

Please Watch and Enjoy!

https://docs.google.com/file/d/0BzOawQ1-D0sfaHZzT3ZWVnpub0E/edit

PS: The sound quality is a bit harsh, so we apologize for the inconvenience!!

- Gina
xoxoxoxo
- The Beauty and Strength Within